I came across this interesting term while having a conversation, a few years ago,with the famous surgeon Badar Siddiqui. I mentioned to him that a long time has passed since I returned to Pakistan, from England, but I still have difficulty in adjusting to life here. It seems that a part of me has been ‘Anglicized’, and will always remain so. It was then, that he used the term and explained how all of us who have spent some time in the West, and later decided to come back, are ‘Resident expatriates’.
Perils of living in Pakistan have often been the subject of some heated discussions on this forum. Pakistan has often been criticized and ridiculed by many of us. People have found faults in its history and ideology, its geography and weather, population and culture, society and administration, politics and government, its armed forces and judiciary and sometimes even its religion. I accept that most of it is true and their criticism is well justified.
Strangely, our colleagues not living in Pakistan and having migrated to the West, have been most vociferous in denouncing its short comings. Perhaps this is their way of offering some justification for leaving this country. Living abroad, in the West,they have a better understanding of the problems confronting Pakistan, but they seem to be oblivious to their own problems,because those are never mentioned. They are more concerned about Pakistan, Islam and sometimes Saudi Arabia. In my humble opinion, all three can survive inspite of their attention and criticism .
Living in the West is a blessing. Who can deny that? There is peace and security, equality and justice. There are equal opportunities for every body. A good life can be enjoyed with all physical comforts. Talent and hard work is appreciated and rewarded. The future of our children is secure. The health and education system and all other social services work efficiently. There is no political or religious persecution or threats. It would seem absurd that some one would leave all this and move back to Pakistan.
It is always good to count the numerous blessings of life in the West, but one should also keep in mind that it comes with a price tag on it. Any body who wants to enjoy it has to pay a certain cost.
The first thing you give up, when you decide to reside in the West, is your sense of belonging and affiliation to a certain land. You become a foreigner in a foreign country. Even after spending many years in the west, the sense of being an outsider is always there. Somehow, the country does not feel like your own. No matter how many oaths of allegiance you take to obtain your nationality, the passion inside to lay down your life for your adopted country is never there.
Moreover, you are also aware that the local population also resents your presence among their midst. Years ago, one of our classmates told me,”These people tolerate us, but they don’t accept us”.
Even if you disregard the results of opinion polls; which show that 80% of the local population is against immigration, your own personal experience makes you realize that a significant proportion of the population does not like your presence in their country. Everybody living in Britain has either experienced a racial slur personally, or at least known someone who has been subjected to it. Even getting physically abused or mugged is not unknown.
Sibte Hasans brother and Arjumand Faisel’s son were subjected to brutal physical assaults in London and Nottingham respectively. Both were hospitalized for days and are lucky to be alive. Baber Hameed’s wife was harrassed at Southend-On-Sea. Me and Baber were roughed up in Norwich. These are just a few examples involving our classmates, but we tend to ignore these ‘incidences’, because we believe that only a tiny minority is involved and the majority is quite decent and helpful, which may very well be true. However, this argument has little consolation for the victims. We compare these ‘mishaps’ with conditions back home and consider ourselves to be better off. We also believe that things will get better with time and our children will have a better future.
The situation is a bit different in the United states, as the majority of its population is immigrant. The prejudices you encounter in Britain against foreigners are not there. Nevetheless, things are not so rosy there either.
A few years ago, one of my Pakistani American friends stated that if a similar incident to 9/11 happens in the United States again, there will be mass Muslim deportations back to their countries. When I objected that this type of situation will never happen because United States after all is a civilized country, I was gently reminded that during the second world war Americans of Japanese origin were rounded up and put into concentration camps in America. History can always repeat itself.
With the passage of time things are getting worse. Even in America, the fear of persecution and a backlash by the local population raises its ugly head every time an act of terrorism is committed by a Muslim there. A time comes when you are gradually reduced to a pitiful state, when you oppose terrorism not because it is bad per se, but also because it threatens your very existence in the Western soceity.
The second big issue we compromise on, but rarely admit, is the future of our children. You feel that by providing them a chance to be brought up in the West is the best thing possible for them. After all, they get access to the best educational instituitions in the world. Their academic achievements make you proud. But, is it really the best thing for them? Years ago,talking to Baber Hameed’s mother, a very sweet and simple lady, in Karachi, I proudly told her that her grandchildren in UK are going to the best private schools in Norwich, she stunned me with the reply, ‘God is not going to ask whether you spoke English with the correct accent or not. You don’t go to Heaven for that.’
Torn between two sets of values and cultures, our children go through a lot of problems. Almost all of them have an identity issue. This problem is more acute in America than in Britain. Patti Jumar in her famous novel ‘Namesake’ aptly describes the plight of these children and called them,’The ABCD Generation'(American Born Confused Desi ). The problem of adjustments haunt them all their lives.
Another aspect of Western life where you don’t get a better deal is, ‘Old Age.’ Old age in the West is cold and lonely. Physically, you may be adequately looked after, but you spend your last days either fending for yourself or in the hands of total strangers. Old age in the West is something you should not wish for, even on your enemies.
Personally, I would like to be with my children and grandchildren in my old age, spending my time in the mosque and dying in my home. That is how my father and grandfather lived and died. And, that is how I want to make my final exit when the curtain falls. The prospects of this ever happening in the West is close to one in a million.
A long time ago, I decided that I could not pay the price the western world demanded of me and ultimately moved back to Pakistan. A lot of people like me came back for more altruistic, selfish or personal reasons. There is one thing which is common amongst us. A part of us still lives in ‘good old Britain’. We automatically stop at the red lights. We are the ones who look for bins to deposit our rubbish and we subconsciously form a queue at every shop and ticket centre.
Even after spending years in Pakistan, a part of us never gets adjusted to life here. Some thing irrevocable has happened to us.
Mujahid Humail, an FRCS orthopaedic surgeon, one year our junior, who used to be quite a smart chap in his younger days and now practises in Karachi with a flowing greyish white beard, a dopalli Topi and pan stains on the corners of his mouth, once told me,
“Shahab….you take me to a room full of consultants and just by observing them I can tell you exactly who is a FRCS or a MRCP and who is a local FCPS graduate.”
“You must be joking”,I said
“How could you tell the difference? After all, We all look the same.”
“You don’t realize”,he replied with a mischievious smile,”Those of us who have been sodomized by the Royal Colleges walk with a different gait.”
(I apologize for this profanity but I can assure you that the original sentence in Urdu was even more colourful. For obvious reasons it cannot be quoted here). Keeping aside his observation, it is true that we remain different.
Every time I experience prolonged electricity or water shortages or come across roads full of potholes with overflowing gutters, watching rules not being followed, laws being broken and principles ignored, when I am forced to pay a bribe, or somebody lies to me and when I come across blatant disregard for human life, I always remember ‘good old Britain’.
In the present circumstances, when people ask me, or sometimes my own children question my decision to come back to Pakistan from England, it becomes very difficult to provide them a satisfactory answer.
Those of us who went abroad and stayed there, made their choices ,are happy, and those, who decided to stay here, chose the way they wanted to live are also happy. People like me will always remain in a fix, we want to live in Pakistan but also want to have a life like in England. This is Utopia and can never be reached. Life will always be difficult for me because I wish to live in two different worlds at the same time. After all I am a Resident Expatriate.
