Five Stages of a Masjid Fight
The Prophet said, “If somebody sees his Muslim ruler doing something he disapproves of, he should be patient, for whoever becomes separate from the Muslim group even for a span and then dies, he will die as those who died in the Pre-Islamic period of ignorance (as rebellious sinners). Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:257 (See Hadith No. 176 and 177)
Hast thou not turned thy vision to those who have been given a portion of the Book? They are invited to the Book of Allah to settle their dispute but a party of them turn back and decline (the arbitration). (Qur’an 3:23.
The concept of dispute is mentioned approximately 60 times in the Qur’an. Various ayats illustrate how people disputed God’s revelation and validity of prophetic leadership. Disputes occur all the time in churches, business organizations and families. Yes, they also happen in our Masajids. Minor disputes can turn into nasty fights. Some start small, quickly escalate, or build up over time.
Most disputes have a common cause and end with common disastrous results. Believers in Islam are encouraged to avoid common disputes, steer clear of disastrous results and use Islamic methods of settling them when ever they occur. Sometimes a dispute starts between two members and their friends are drawn in. One of the most classic confrontations that can occur is between a membership and Masjid leadership. This type of conflict is unique because it tends to involve more people and its negative effects can last for years.
There is no specific timeline for how quickly or slowly a dispute progresses through the five stages. It depends on facts of the dispute, intensity of emotions, types of individuals involved and level of Islamic comprehension.
Common causes of disputes
Some common causes of disputes are: People who talk wisely but act unjustly; misuse of authority or administrative judgment; suspicions of financial mismanagement; decision making style; inappropriate power seeking; and loss of community trust. Dynasty domination is the basis for conflict in some places of worship. Dynasty conflict happens when one family seems to have too much power, over too many matters and for too long.
The Stages
Stage 1: I think you made a mistake. At this stage a member or leadership may feel a problem can be resolved by writing a letter or setting up an informal meeting to discuss issues. One person may believe the other has unknowingly made a mistake or simply lacks information of the facts. To their surprise, the decision maker fully understands all facts, wants no further information and carefully chose their decision.
Stage 2: I can’t believe you mean that. Mild irritation starts because the letter or meeting to provide information changed nothing. Either party can conclude the other is not misinformed and is simply wrong. There is a quick change in strategy. Each party to the dispute will try to persuaded other people to join the controversy. Groups are formed and unspoken opposition starts. Each group feels their argument is just as strong and correct as the other. Some individuals may start doing research on various expert opinions, books and articles to support their position. Psychological pushing and pulling starts as opposing parties express their dissatisfaction to others seeking support. Resolution is still possible because no real harm has taken place. Only arguments have occurred.
Stage 3: Power to the front. Clear and distinct groups form with more members. The environment definitely changes to “You are either with us or against us”. One group is formed to attack and another to defend. Before joining either side some individuals may stop to self-assess. Are they right on the issues? Am I right in what I am doing? At this point, some people withdraw from the controversy, yet remain in the organization, preferring “a bad peace over a good war”. Others leave the organization because of unhappiness. Matters get worse when people who were sitting on the sidelines are drawn into the fight. Feelings are strong and those who don’t want to be involved are forced to choose a side. Accusations become stronger, rumors are more frequent and distrust spreads. People in either group can start fabricating information, present distorted facts and make untrue statement to gain supporters.
Stage 4: Ready, aim. Both sides now become clear enemies and prepare for a fight to the finish. Psychological pushing and shoving as a tactic is no longer used. Very hard line positions are established and no one wants to compromise. Somebody has got to go.
Blocking and removing certain individuals from participation now starts. Legal or procedural rules are used to force certain members out. Others may attempt to make life so difficult for the offending leadership that he or she will resign. Confidence votes may be called for, new elections may be tried and alternative leadership put forth. The accused leadership now must resort to protecting and defending itself from removal. Opposition members increase their efforts to oust the offending leaders. Administrative survival time may be short for the offending leader at this point, but he/she can still leave voluntarily without too many scars. In this stage both sides can lose supporters because the situation is so chaotic. Not wanting part in deceitful tactics some people will change from one group to the other. Some may feel that the only way to regain peace is to start with new leadership that isn’t from either side. By this point people have forgotten what the original disagreement was about. Fighting and keeping ones position becomes the objectives. More people than ever will leave the organization because of disgust with the whole situation.
Stage 5: Winds of destruction. If resignation or removal does not happen by this point you can expect some of the worst behavior possible. Fighters are fanatics and the fight is now like a jihad. There are no rules, no referee or three knock down rule.
If the accused insist on staying in office his opposition will seek to ruin him legally and personally. There may be members from either side of the conflict who want to see the others tarred, feathered, chased out the city, and kicked in the rear as they leave.
If the leadership is successful in holding its positions, the opposing side will probably leave. Should members win, the leadership and its supporters will leave. Whoever wins the fight will probably be left in the Masjid alone. The division may never heal because unforgivable deeds have been committed and heartless things said.
Conclusion
Fear Allah as he ought to be feared Regarding disputes, both leadership, and community members have responsibilities based on Qur’an and Hadith. The best advice for disputing parties is “fear Allah as he ought to be feared and know the facts.
Disputes are decided by people choosing sides. Before siding with anyone, you should know the facts for yourself. The Qur’an advises us not to act on what we do not know. In sura Al Isra: “And pursue not that of which you have no knowledge; for every act of hearing or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be inquired into (on the Day of Reckoning).” (17:36)
Those in authority must rule in an honest manner: “Allah doth command you to render back your trusts to those to whom they are due; and when ye judge between man and man that ye judge with justice: verily how excellent is the teaching which He giveth you! for Allah is He who heareth and seeth all things”. Holy Qu’ran; Surah 4, The Women (4: 58). Narrated Ma’qil: I heard the Prophet saying, “Any man whom Allah has given the authority of ruling some people and he does not look after them in an honest manner, will never feel even the smell of Paradise.”( Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:264) Narrated Ma’qil: Allah’s Apostle said, “If any ruler having the authority to rule Muslim subjects dies while he is deceiving them, Allah will forbid Paradise for him.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:265)
Take cautious corrective steps when you see a Muslim ruler doing something wrong. We should voice our concerns as responsible people. Those in leadership should listen and act responsibly. We are not required to be passive and silent when faced with incompetence, corruption, deceit, imminent threat of danger or irreparable harm. We should have procedures in place to put in office and remove offenders without resort to violence. We should not destroy unjustly reputations or careers.
“O ye who believe! stand out firmly for Allah as witnesses to fair dealing and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to Piety: and fear Allah for Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do”. Holy Qu’ran; Surah Maida, or The Table Spread (5:9). Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said, “If somebody sees his Muslim ruler doing something he disapproves of, he should be patient, for whoever becomes separate from the Muslim group even for a span and then dies, he will die as those who died in the Pre-Islamic period of ignorance (as rebellious sinners). Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:257 (See Hadith No. 176 and 177).
