Upright Opinion

July 14, 2013

The Paradoxes of Sex in American Society

By Saeed Qureshi

If someone is under the erroneous impression that American society is sexually permissive, then I may straight away tell you it is not. There are tricky snares laid around that make the outdoor sex a costly and scary undertaking. The sex culture here is a blend of queer paradoxes and intrigues that can turn sour for the fun seekers. More often than not, it would be difficult to distinguish between a street whore and an undercover police operative.

An individual desperately in search of a female could land himself in big trouble enough to ruin his future as a blemished person for all time to come. Those who are categorized as sex offenders carry this millstone for the rest of their lives. Once caught, they are treated as pariah and outcast in the society. The law is unforgiving and they would remain in jail for many years. They cannot live in common neighborhoods. Their dwellings should be far from school zones and they should report to the area police from time to time. In gutter magazines and tabloid papers their pictures are published. These papers are placed at counters of big stores and can be viewed by customers.

The so called sting operations carried by the police have several outlets. One would receive a sudden call from a female with an exceptionally tantalizing and sweet offer to meet her in a lonely or secluded place. She would mention of her being a teenage or young girl recklessly aspiring to make friendship or have sex. The young specifically from the immigrants, are usually enticed and allured thinking that it was a free society so there was nothing wrong with it. He unwittingly falls into a laid out trap.

When he reaches at the appointed location and had just started the conversation with the female (a cover up police officer), he is pounced upon by other operatives and thus starts a nightmarish phase of his life. The immigrant victims of such operations are treated very harshly and even deported. I would wonder why those who initiate sting operations to involve the unassuming through a tricky are not taken to task.

In other situations, the male singles and fun seekers alike would drive at such places mostly roadsides, where call girls make their appearance. But the moment one gets into a conversation all of sudden a police car would barge in and arrest the males letting off the girls. The girls are let off because they would be accomplices in that drama of catching the sex offenders.

In United States if a woman maliciously or vindictively accuses someone of sexual advances, it would be taken as a gospel truth. The first thing that the police would resort to is to handcuff and shove the man in jail. It would take a great deal of prolonged litigation that he could prove his innocence. The false accuser is seldom booked for the suffering caused to a citizen based upon concocted or blown up charges.

 Polygamy is forbidden in America under the civil and religious laws. The Mormons whose one sect believes in sexual promiscuity and polygamy cannot follow their religious edits as it is forbidden to marry more than one woman at one time. The Muslims also permitted by Islam to have more than one wife cannot do so. And that is good by the way.

 However, what nullifies all this farce or facade of keeping the society immune from sexual predators is to freely and uninhibitedly allow the teen age population to date( love meeting), indulge in sex and have children. Primarily it should be the underage generation to be strictly prohibited from sexual pursuits before the attainment of adulthood. In American every years a staggering amount over 20 billion dollars is expended on teen age mothers, delivery of the babies and follow up care and nursing.

The teen age motherhood is prevalent in most of western countries and United States because of the sexual permissiveness for the youth. According to a 2001 UNICEF survey in 10 out of 12 developed nations more than two third of the young people have had sexual intercourse while still in their teens. In Denmark, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Norway, the United Kingdom and the United States, the proportion is as high as 75 per cent.

In America, due to co-education and almost no check on the young generation and because of the biased legal protection, the teen age girls and boys can have sex at an early age. The teen mothers drop out of the high school during the pregnancy or after the delivery. So do the male partners who take up odd jobs to run the household and to bring up the child. They start the family and household at a much younger age. In hostels where the female and male students live together, the sexual intercourse is frequent.

The children are treated like holy cows to such an extent that an adult even a female is not allowed to touch a teen age boy or girl. Reportedly, many a female teacher lost their jobs for touching a student. This is the height of the sensitivity of discrimination in favor of boys and girls of even minor age. On the contrary there is evidence of incest in American society which could be caused because of the lack of moral awareness on this issue as well as children being the easy targets in the privacy of homes.

In almost every country there are areas for the comfort females to carry their business that is permissible under the law. The redeeming feature of that aspect is that one could release his pent- up sexual urge at such secluded yet highly guarded zones. In those countries the neighborhoods remain immune from sex predators. But here in America the outdoor sex is drastically curbed like in conservative Islamic societies.

Yet in practice, even in Islamic countries where rape, molestation or free sex is deemed as a social and religious crime, one can go to any length to give vent to his sexual needs. There are call girls available round the clock in both Islamic and Unislamic societies for a price. I would not mention places like Bangkok and the whole Far East and the Scandinavian belt where sex is accessible and as cheap and common as one can order a meal or buy a shirt from the market.

The pristine concept of celibacy was strictly adhered to by the Christians of the first four centuries. They generally observed sexual restraint, eschewed polygamy, rejected the extra marital sexual practices such as prostitution and homosexuality divorce, abortion, and exposure to death of unwanted infants. Bu the later generations of the priestly class desecrated this golden edit to their hearts’ fill. Just to mention two cases of nauseating degeneracy of the Roman Catholic papacy in recent times.

If allowing sex in controlled areas is anti-Christianity or a social vice, then all the priests and clergy class would have been as pious as Jesus Christ was. But history of Christendom testifies that these were the churches and cathedrals where worst kind of sexual debauchery has been going on for ages. Even in recent times, many priests have been posthumously charged with molesting hundreds of innocent children in church schools and ministries run under their supervision to impart Christian education. So where do we draw the line as to who is pious and who was not?

Priest Lawrence C Murphy a pedophile predatory priest sexually preyed upon 200 defenseless, innocent, adolescent deaf young boys and girls for 24 years (1950-1974). Another priest (Rev.) Brendan Smyth died in jail 13 years ago while serving 12 years for 74 sexual assaults on children. And there are countess such gory incidents encompassing several centuries of diabolic violation of basic Christian teachings. The purpose of alluding to these examples is to bear out that in order to satisfy their hedonistic desires how the humans wantonly trample the Jesus’ reverent ministry based upon piety and rectitude. The Catholic Church has been paying millions of dollars as compensation to the victims of sinful priests.

Paradoxically the rape culture is rife in the armed forces of the United States. There are countless complaints about the rape and forcible sex within the army. The rapes are either not reported by the victims or if reported these are either hushed up or seldom probed and the perpetrators prosecuted. One example of this trend of sexual perversion pertains to Naval Station Great Lakes where sailors receive specialized training A Pentagon survey  reported by New York Times revealed that the number of sexual assaults during 2012 in that Naval station alone rose to 26,000. One can imagine the enormity of the uncontrollable sexual lust or carnal urge as to override the professional ethics and integrity in such a brazen way.

There is also pervasive adultery and sexual encroachments in the offices, shops and work places by the owners or the bosses on their subordinate female staff. Such incidents go mostly unreported and hidden because the females fear losing jobs and prefer to keep such incidents secret from their families. Such are the queer paradoxes that bedevil our society.

I shall omit a detailed opinion on the epidemic of same sex marriages. It would be difficult to rationalize or justify a man marrying a man and woman with woman. Living as friends could bear some logic but entering into matrimonial bonds like female and males in fact defies a rational explanation.  At best or worst it could be explained a kind of homosexuality in case of two males and a kind of lesbian propensity in case of the females living together as partners. Indeed it cannot be for procreation of the human progeny. The underlying purpose could also be to share the burden of life and to draw the state benefits as married partners.

Now in Europe and elsewhere in the world there are brothels for a permissible sexual activity. Here in our country the brothel or red zone area are unthinkable. The result is the frequent incidence of rape, forced molestation and similar heinous acts by the lecherous individuals. Absence of brothels though is very plausible from moral point of view, yet it has its pernicious fallout. The sex seekers then explore the massage parlors; hook-up the stray girls on the roadsides or from the pubs and clubs. More often than not it turns out to be costly, risky and troublesome affair.

By curbing the option for a permissible sex in marked outlets interspersed in Far East and the European countries, the American society in fact forces the sexually deviants to change their partners through divorcing and remarrying. It is for these compelling reasons that there is a high rate of divorces in this country (60 %).For the affluent and rich individuals; it might not be hurtful and economically disturbing. But for an ordinary person with meager means and limited resources, it entails a host of mental and financial sufferings. Those among the citizenry who cannot afford to enter the rigmarole of divorce and remarrying go into the sordid pursuit of rapes or outdoor sex relations. There have been several instances reported in the press that the rapists killed their victims to wash off the evidence.

In a nutshell this society gives a free hand to the teen age boys and girls to have free sex, the girls to become pregnant and for the couple to leave the education incomplete. On the other hand, the adults under the burden of stringent conditions resort to criminal options for sex that land them either in jail, burden them with enormous financial difficulties and segregation from the society as offenders. Many among those who divorce and remarry suffer from economic hardships besides psychological and mental disorders.

For children born out of the previous marriages, the separation of parents is traumatic and would leave deep scars on their tender minds due to separation of their parents. And let us not forget the crushing burden of child support that turns many males and females paupers.

The simple solution of this conundrum is that during their schooling, the teen age dating in school premises or in class rooms should be sternly curbed for which a strategy can be worked out with the help of teachers and parents.If adults find more liberal environment and resort to permissive outlets minus sting forays, it could drastically reduce the divorce rate, curtail abhorrent crimes as rape and sexual assaults. It could be instrumental is halting to a reasonable scale the separation of families for the sake of having a new sex partner. This society has got to be realistic. Even now the covert sex cartels are operating.  But utilizing those is dangerous and exposing oneself to a Pandora-box of troubles.

The writer is a senior journalist and a former diplomat

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