WHAT A COUNTRY! 

Yes, what a country! A paradise on earth, that’s what Pakistan got —
from shining sea to the second highest peak in the world. Before you
declare it ‘paradise lost’, tarry a while and think: Only in this
country does the heart beat faster when a PIA plane brings you back to
your roots. In no other country does it feel like home. In no other
country does the desi food taste as delicious as here. In no other
country do you get hugs and kisses accompanied by profuse dinner
invitations when you chance upon an old acquaintance. People are
genuinely happy to welcome you back to where you really belong.

Only in this country does a tooth extraction cost Rs4,000 and an
implant Rs75,000. My dentist in the US charges $500 for tooth
extraction and $5,000 for an implant.

“Go back and get your teeth fixed. It’s much cheaper there,” Dr Ruvo
tells me when I go running to her for help. Dr Shahid Mahmood, the
Texas-trained dentist in Islamabad says: “I tell my friends and family
in America to take a trip out to Pakistan, get their dental work done,
have a vacation and return refreshed in less than half the money they
would spend on their teeth treatment in the US.”

Dental issues aside, Islamabad is a happening place. Some friends
wanted to eat out on Valentine’s Day. “We went around but were turned
away. Every place was booked solid.”

Professionals in all fields, I find are efficient, friendly and
willing to help you when you turn up in their offices to get work like
car insurance, car registration, refunds for unused PIA tickets, money
transfers and a hundred other things that need to be done if you’ve
been away from Pakistan long.

But what a country — where traffic lights don’t exist in the capital
city. The message: Drive at your own risk; fend for yourself! There
are no cops on the streets. It’s free for all. The daredevil motor
bikers challenge every nerve in your body as they charge around
recklessly packed with women and children at the back. The only cops
you see are standing fiddling with their cell phones or chatting
leisurely with each other while lined up along VIP routes daily.

What a country where a property tycoon can buy off the sons of VVIPs,
load them with pricey gifts and then openly boast about his feats.
First to fall from grace is the son of the Chief Justice of Pakistan.
The case stands unresolved. Now it’s Bilawal’s turn to have a
multi-million dollar mega-home named after him by Riaz.

What a country where the president of the poverty stricken populace
brazenly accepts this graft in the name of his son from the most
controversial man in Pakistan. With his own millions stashed overseas,
Zardari and son are hardly a charity case in need of a roof over their
heads courtesy Malik Riaz. Splashed in the media are photographs of
the VVIP father and son holding ‘court’ in one of the 50 formal
drawing rooms of Bilawal House in Lahore.

What a country where the same man, Malik Riaz builds a sand castle
telling all and sundry that it will be the tallest building in Karachi
worth $45bn in partnership with the Abu Dhabi Group. The hyper TV
channels go into an overdrive putting Burj Khalifa in Dubai to shame.
Malik’s tower will soon replace the Burj in height and grandeur,
open-jawed Pakistani public is told. Not so fast! Say the Abu Dhabi
Group. They publish a quarter page clarification in all our newspapers
contradicting Riaz’s tall claims.

Distancing itself from the deal, the Group declares that the whole
exercise was nothing more than a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’ between
them and Malik Riaz of Bahria Town. Since both the parties failed to
reach a “conclusion” the deal stands cancelled!

What a country where the US dollar touches the Rs100 mark. Instead of
stalling the rupee decline, the government dispenses with the services
of its finance secretary. A week later, the finance minister too
departs, leaving the country’s finances in the lurch. A manager of a
local bank tells me that as elections near and uncertainty grows,
politicians are busy transferring their ill-gotten wealth out of
Pakistan.

What a country where the ruling elite are the main black marketers who
pocket $6.12bn, paralleling almost half of Pakistan’s foreign exchange
reserves. Their ill-gotten money is mainly acquired through drug
smuggling, book piracy, gas and oil smuggling, human smuggling, tax
evasion and counterfeit money. Havocscope, the world’s leading
provider of information about the black market ranks Pakistan close to
Afghanistan which is the world’s number one country with $7.3bn in
black market. There are laws to catch the scofflaws but the courts,
including the Supreme Court are helpless.

What a country where the son of a prime minister along with a federal
minister and a federal secretary are accused of importing the deadly
drug called ephedrine and health officials divert 25,000 kg ephedrine
to the pharmaceutical companies for smuggling abroad. The then
Director General Health Dr Rashid Juma, a respected brain surgeon, in
his statement as an ‘approver’ alleges that he was threatened by the
then health secretary Khushnood Lashari to do as told or else he’d get
the sack. Ironically, the minister and the secretary continue in their
posts despite the court accusing them of the crime, while the son who
is a member National Assembly is out on bail. The case will gradually
fizzle out as happens always.

What a country where the constitution is violated by the lawmakers
themselves, most of them holding fake degrees and owing huge sums to
the State Bank. When the Election Commission writes to 249 legislators
giving them a deadline to prove their academic credentials, only 26 of
them respond. The rest, 223 member parliaments miss the deadline,
proving they sneaked into the parliaments on suspected fake degrees.
Heavens don’t fall. There is business as usual. When the State Bank
threatens to out the identities of the bank defaulters, pressure from
the government and the opposition arrives and the matter goes into a
limbo.

What a country where one million ton plastic bags a week are thrown
randomly and are left lying forever. Most of them make their way to
the chocked gutters or fly around in the wind until they land on trees
and bushes. We have a minister and a secretary in charge of
environment. They, like the rest of the government wear blinkers and
perhaps don’t see the plastic bags suffocating the environment.

Still, what a country where ordinary people are the most resilient,
hard working and honest — Pakistan could have been a paradise for all
— from the privileged to the underprivileged, had it not been pillaged
repeatedly by those in whom God had wrested power.

Paradise lost and regained may yet be the lasting narrative for Pakistan.